


Awakening

by Dream_Was_Found



Series: Angst Oneshots [1]
Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Bisexual Male Character, F/M, Gay Awakening, Heterosexual Character, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, No Smut, Panic Attacks, Sad Ending, Sexual Confusion, Straight Awakening, Suicidal Thoughts, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-01
Updated: 2020-08-01
Packaged: 2021-03-06 03:15:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25646419
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dream_Was_Found/pseuds/Dream_Was_Found
Summary: It's Dream's 21st birthday, and he is finally old enough to legally drink. Every bit of alcohol that poured into his body only worsening the unresolved tensions between him and George. Maybe he shouldn't have fallen in love with such an idiot.
Relationships: Clay | Dream/GeorgeNotFound (Video Blogging RPF), GeorgeNotFound/Maia | mxmtoon (Video Blogging RPF)
Series: Angst Oneshots [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1911994
Comments: 38
Kudos: 300





	Awakening

**Author's Note:**

> The angst version of a request made by an anon.
> 
> \---
> 
> TW: severe alcohol usage/abuse, suicidal thoughts, vomit
> 
> \---
> 
> AN: The characters in this work do not reflect the actual, real lives of the real people used. Only their online, fictional personas are used; a reminder that this whole work and scenarios used are also fictional. Do not push these works of fiction onto the real people, they are human too, just like the rest of us. If any of the people used in this fanfic express discomfort then I will take down this work immediately.

“I don’t think I’m as straight as I thought I was.”

“What!?” George exclaimed, his eyes widening in surprise. “I mean, congratulations?” Dream wheezed into his mic, chuckling simultaneously.

“Congratulations? I guess you could say that; I’ve been thinking really hard about this and I just wanted to tell you that I’m bi.” 

“Thank you for telling me,” George replied, voice unsure. “Why are you telling me this now though?” A soft cough of embarrassment could be heard in the call, Dream obviously flustered about what he was about to say next.

“I think...you were my gay awakening?” George’s jaw dropped open, face burning scarlet as he shrunk further down into his chair. “I don’t know, there’s just something about you George that has been alluring me since we first met. Did you ever wonder why I always flirted with you?”

George shook his head.

“I thought you were always just joking around! Didn’t you say one stream that you liked teasing me?” George ran his hands frantically through his hair, unsure how to feel about the whole situation. 

“I did, and I promise more of that if you ever decide to become my boyfriend. Would you?” Dream smoothly said, but was met with silence. The atmosphere in the call was high in tension, like even the slightest of movements could set everything off. George was sat at his chair in disbelief, it took him a while to actually comprehend that Dream had basically just confessed to him, and it wasn’t just one of his stupid jokes.

George was confused; was he supposed to feel overjoyed and return the feelings? If George was honest, he never really thought about his own sexuality or if he even liked men. It was just something that never came to the surface in his daily life; it was especially difficult to determine because he had never dated anyone before. George guiltily admitted to himself that he was curious on how the experience would be, to discover more things about himself that he would’ve never seen without Dream lighting the fuse. Because George rarely talked about girls either, he just never really found the right person to settle down with and no one caught his interest.

But maybe Dream was the key to everything, maybe he was the person George had silently been waiting for all this time. And although Dream didn’t show his face to him, George instead focused on the other details in their relationship: their late night calls, the flirting, their interactions between each other on stream or in a recording, or the way George’s face blushed furiously everytime Dream said the iconic words: “I love you.” George had made up his mind and broke the tension that surrounded the both of them, locking them in place without a single breath of air as Dream nervously waited for George’s response.

“Yes,” George started out and he could hear the immediate reaction of Dream inhaling sharply. “Yes, I would like to be your boyfriend Dream.”

* * *

The relationship only lasted a month, a month of constant flirting on Dream’s end whilst George only reciprocated half-baked compliments, sometimes not even finishing them and just shutting down. Dream noticed, it became even more apparent when he had revealed his face to George, and the feeling that George didn’t actually love him as much as he did haunted him every single day. 

The only romantic compliments George had given him were only about his physical appearance, but was only limited to the features on his face. It was as if George was hesitant or unwilling to go farther into the relationship like Dream would’ve wanted. That month had passed and Dream finally gathered up enough courage to ask George what was wrong.

* * *

***flashback***

“George, we need to talk about something.” Dream’s tone of voice was serious and it made the whole entire situation even more stressful. Both of them knew or had some slight idea of what the conversation was going to be about. It was almost impossible to ignore when the scale of their affection was unbalanced heavily, Dream receiving almost less than half the amount of love he gave for George.

George had seemed determined to keep their relationship just as their former friendship had been, but now it was just awkward. Everytime Dream called him pet names, he got no reaction out of George, not even one out of shock or feigned annoyance. Everytime Dream called George in the middle of the night to whisper sweet nothings through the phone, willing to do anything just to have George reciprocate his love.

Everything felt even worse when Dream realized that George had never actually said: “I love you” to him, no matter how many times he said it to him. It made Dream feel like shit and made him believe that he peer pressured George somehow into dating him in the first place, that George was never really interested in him and only gave in to not ruin their pre-existing friendship. But this was worse, their outside lives behind the cameras hidden by an immovable force as Dream chased after George, who would always escape his grasp at the last second and spill through his fingers. 

“George...please be honest with me,” Dream gulped, his fingers starting to tap rapidly against his thigh in a nervous habit. “This has been going on for a month now, but it feels like there wasn’t anything there to begin with. Do you actually love me?” Dream could see George’s mouth open to say something through the face cam, but he cut it off by closing his mouth shut tight.

“Please George! This is just hurting both of us, and we both know it. I...I’m not mad at you, okay? It’s no one’s fault, just please please _please_ talk to me,” Dream begged, tears beginning to pool in his eyes.

“I’m sorry,” George whispered. “I’m sorry Dream, but I can’t love you back the same way you do. I’m sorry I led you on; I...I guess I was just taking advantage of this whole situation to discover myself. I’m not gay or maybe I just don’t love anyone in general.” The tears that had collected on the bottom of Dream’s eyes had finally broken through and were streaming down his face in rivulets. Dream swiftly wiped his eyes using his hoodie sleeve.

“I get it, we were just not sure of ourselves,” Dream sniffled before burying his face into his hands. “It’s kind of funny how you were my gay awakening and I’m your straight awakening, am I right?” He let out a weak chuckle to try and lighten the mood. 

“Yeah. Let’s just be friends, okay Dream? I appreciate all you’ve done for me, and I’m sorry, I just don’t feel the same way.”

“I understand.”

***end of flashback***

* * *

They did remain friends, George suppressing their former relationship by pretending it never happened. And it continued, continued for a year until Dream had turned 21.

* * *

It was Sapnap’s idea to hold a surprise birthday party for Dream, stocking up on alcohol as well to celebrate Dream’s coming of legal drinking age. A lot of other Minecraft Youtubers they were acquainted with were also invited, everyone excited not only to celebrate Dream’s birthday but to also hold a giant meetup at a nearby clubhouse. They decided that it wouldn’t be a good idea to have it at Dream’s house due to the amount of chaos there would be.

Sapnap couldn’t help but smile to himself when he imagined how surprised and shocked Dream would be to see everyone in one place. Party streamers and banners decorating the walls, a bar and a snack table to accompany it. George almost didn’t come and would have succeeded if Bad hadn’t lectured him that this would be the first time he would meet Dream in person and that this would be a monumental moment in his life. 

Only a couple select close friends knew that George and Dream used to be a thing, but that they didn’t connect well romantically with each other. Both George and Dream kept on insisting that everything was fine and that there was no bad blood between the two and it would’ve been believable if Dream hadn’t ranted to Sapnap about his troubles.

Sapnap winced when he remembered the facetime call they had in the dead of night, Dream sobbing on the other end and mumbling incomprehensible words hysterically. Dream admitted that he had become acutely self-conscious about himself ever since he and George broke up. He knew that they were still friends but explained how much it hurt whenever George would act like nothing ever happened, like all the love Dream gave to him never existed. Dream was convinced that there was something wrong with him to “turn George straight,” to steer him clear of any future romantic relationships with other men. But what seemed to damage Dream the most was the fact that he still had feelings for George, that he wished that they would’ve just broken off all contact so he wouldn’t be led on some false hope in their friendship.

They both danced around the topic, never bothering or having enough courage to address the issue between them and resolve any loose ends. Maybe it would take George to see Dream in person for him to see how they needed to have closure, that they couldn’t just act like everything was okay. And god damn did it piss off Sapnap at how _oblivious_ George could be sometimes, wanting to scream at him and point out how he was inadvertently making Dream suffer. 

Sapnap let out a sigh as he set up the stereo that would be playing background music throughout the entirety of the party, setting it to a playlist that he, Dream, and George shared. A quick glance around and Sapnap could see everyone who was in on the surprise party, which was almost every Minecraft Youtuber that Dream had interacted with, some tagging along so they could meet the others as well. The exception was George, who promised that he would come but hadn’t arrived yet, texting in the group chat that he would be late due to a car crash that had occurred and blocked the freeway. 

About twenty minutes later and everything was set up, the whole group cheered and started to prepare themselves for the plan Sapnap had to surprise Dream. The first step was for someone to pick up Dream from his house and drive him over to the clubhouse, which Bad was in charge of and had already left to Dream’s house. All the rest of us had to do was turn the lights off and hide behind various furniture, the bar, a potted plant, whatever was nearby that would provide cover. Sapnap hid behind the bar along with Skeppy and a6d, looking at his phone to get the message from Bad that they were coming over.

**Bad:** Get ready.

Sapnap shoved his phone back into his pocket after turning it off, yelling at everyone to get into position and for Finn to turn the lights off. It was pitch black and it was deadly quiet in the room, everyone holding their breaths until the front door to the clubhouse swung open.

“Bad?” Dream said as he held onto the older boy, his eyes covered with a blindfold. “Is this where you wanted to take me? I swear to god if you are going to kidnap me or something…” Bad scanned the surroundings, barely making out the different people’s figures in the darkness.

“You can take it off now, Dream.”

“Thank you! And oh my god it’s still dark as-” The lights were suddenly flicked on and everyone popped up from behind their hiding places.

“HAPPY 21ST BIRTHDAY DREAM!” Everyone shouted in sync and Bad turned back to Dream who was in total shock and only able to get out a brisk statement once everyone’s eyes were on him.

“What is this _shit?!_ ”

“Language!”

* * *

“No, you guys really didn’t have to do this for me. Did everyone seriously fly down here just for my stupid birthday?” Dream was sitting at the bar along with Sapnap, Technoblade was in charge of all the drinks and surprisingly knew how to whip up a couple of cocktails which he had learned in his college days. 

“Of course you idiot,” Sapnap giggled as he punched Dream playfully in the arm. “It’s also a great excuse for everyone to meet up with each other and get drunk off their asses.” Dream rolled his eyes.

“Half the people here aren’t even of age to drink yet,” He teased and Sapnap crossed his arms in mock anger, to which Dream wheezed at. Dream’s face grew more serious and he looked down at his hands in his lap. “But seriously, thank you. Thank you so much for planning this and getting everyone here together. I was actually planning on just drinking alone tonight, get drunk, cry myself to sleep, and…” His voice trailed off, Sapnap’s anxiety shot up as his concern for his best friend had also increased. Dream shook his head and grinned through it.

“And probably piss myself or something,” Dream joked. “And talking about piss, Techno, could I get some uhhhh...beer?” Techno’s face wrinkled in disgust as if he was remembering some traumatic experiences from his college dorm parties.

“Ehhh, just don’t blame me if it literally tastes like piss though.” Techno reached down to grab a Bud Light can from the cooler and tossed it over to Dream, who fumbled with it for a bit and almost dropped it.

“Hey, careful man!” Dream complained, setting the can on the bar table, finger resting under the tab to open up the drink. “Sweet sweet 21 here I com-” Dream didn’t get to finish his sentence before he was blasted in the face with a spray of foaming beer.

* * *

Dream found out that he didn't particularly care for beer that night, finding it too weak for his liking and instead settling on shots of Jack Daniels. He wanted to feel something tonight, to drink and forget the fact that George never showed up to the party. His throat burned as he tipped his head back to down another shot, but the burn faded into a pleasant buzz. Dream was hiding in the backyard of the clubhouse, cradling the bottle of Jack Daniels in his arms. He knew that his friends wouldn’t allow him to drink as much as he did, already 6 shots down of the foul liquid. 

There was no one in the lantern lit backyard, mostly everyone was inside the clubhouse and playing party games; Dream couldn’t care less that no one noticed he was missing yet even if he was supposed to be the main star of attention for the night. _Everyone just wanted to find an excuse to hang out together, I was just the decoy. Well, whatever._ Dream was about to pour himself another shot but was startled by the opening of the sliding door, spilling some of the whiskey onto his hoodie. His hoodie was the least of his problems, the main issue being the person who stepped outside of the clubhouse.

Dream thought George had completely abandoned the party, but there he was; in his hand was the hand of a pretty girl with blonde ombre hair. Dream thought he had recognized her from somewhere, but couldn’t figure out where he had seen her before. It didn’t matter who, the only thing on his mind was how much his heart was hurting; it felt as if someone had driven a stake through it.

“George, baby, you should really talk to him,” The girl spoke up as the two of them sat down on the lawn chairs set up outside. “That’s why you came here, right?”

“I know, Maia. It doesn’t even look like he’s here though, so what’s the point?” George sighed in defeat. “I just want to get this all over with, it’s been a year since we were together and Sapnap and Bad have been telling me how much he’s been dwelling over it. I need to resolve things between us or things will just get worse.”

“Why don’t you try texting or calling him?” The girl, Maia, suggested.

“On it already.” Dream didn’t bother to sit there any longer, dipping out as quickly as he could, not being able to bear to look at George anymore. It was a whole different feeling seeing him in person rather than through a screen; he could see the proportions of his body, the outfit he wore, the way his smile looked when he looked at the girl. Dream was envious, feeling a few tears of frustration coursing down his cheeks, frustrated that George never showed him that genuine of a smile to him anymore. A smile reserved for everyone but him; it wasn’t fair, life wasn’t fair to curse him with a stupid infatuation he couldn’t get rid of no matter how hard he tried. 

The bottle of whiskey was gripped tightly in his hand as he made his way over to the bathroom. A few people had noticed him, but he just waved them off and assured them that he just needed to use the bathroom. His hand was resting on the doorknob of the closed door and he was taken aback when it suddenly opened to reveal Sapnap. He hid the bottle of Jack Daniels behind his back, praying that Sapnap wouldn’t see it. He needed it, he was so close to just forgetting that this night ever happened, that he ever saw George and the girl he was with. 

“There you are!” Sapnap gasped, hands grabbing Dream’s shoulders. “We were all looking everywhere for you.” _Liar._ “You good man?” Sapnap asked, pointing out the obvious sway in his stance and his tear stained face. 

“I’m good,” Dream mumbled. “J’st needta use the bathr’m.” He pushed past Sapnap, maneuvering the bottle to his side so it was less visible to his friend and entered the bathroom. Dream didn’t hesitate to slam the door shut and sit on the ground, back resting against the wall. The white tiles of the floor were blinding and stabbed his head with tiny needles, adding even more to the pain he felt. 

More tears cascaded down his face and he unscrewed the bottle and just chugged the contents straight from the bottle. It burned like hell when it traveled down his throat and he felt like he was going to throw it back up at any minute, but he managed to gulp it down and push past the horridness of the alcohol. Dream wasn’t stupid, he knew that what he was doing was dangerous, especially with a drink with a high alcohol percentage. But he didn’t care anymore, nothing really mattered anymore. 

_Are they even really my friends? Am I just a tool to them, an excuse, a scapegoat that they can shove all this shit onto me. It hurts, I’m hurting, I fucking hate that I still miss him. I’m so stupid._ Dream was about to take another swig of the bottle until he heard someone knocking on the door.

“Dream?” He froze at the voice, terrified of what was to come. Dream quickly shoved the bottle of Jack behind the toilet. “Sapnap told me that you’re in here, it’s me...George? Can we please talk? It’s really important.” 

Dream covered his mouth to muffle the sobs that were racking through his body, realizing that he didn’t lock the door. He softly groaned as he tried to get up but yelped when he crashed back down to the floor. Dream’s body felt too sluggish, his limbs too heavy to move and the waves of nausea were relentless. George must’ve heard him fall, because the door suddenly opened and he was by his side at an instant.

“Dream! Oh my god, how much did you drink?” George’s voice was laced with concern, anyone would be worried if they saw their friend laying in a heap on the floor, crying their eyes out and on the edge of hyperventilating. George tried to pull Dream upright from the floor but Dream twisted away from his grip violently. “Dream?” Dream used his hoodie sleeve to wipe the tears from his face, which didn’t help in the slightest when they didn’t stop falling. 

“Shtop!” Dream hiccupped and George was taken aback by the raw emotion in his voice. “J’st stop...don’t preten’ like you care.”

“What do you mean? I do-”

“YOU DON’T!” He screamed, voice breaking from how much he strained his throat from a mixture of the potent alcohol and his sobbing. “You don’t j’st get to sit there…’nd pretend that none of this ever happen’d! I FUCKING LOVED YOU GEORGE. Was I just some sort of exper’ment to you? I gave you everythin’ and I _still_ love you even if you n’ver did the same for me. I _miss_ you, everyth’g hurts, I...I’m dying. I feel like dying.”

Dream violently flinched when he felt George’s hand caress his shoulder in a soothing manner, but it just felt like it was out of pity. He squeezed his eyes shut, unable to look at George’s face anymore, he was sick and tired of seeing the same look on everyone who saw him. Dream hated being pitied, he’d rather take things head on; he wished that George would’ve just stopped being friends with him so he wouldn’t have a reason to crush on his friend...his ex anymore. 

Dream sat up, ignoring the instant dizziness he felt swimming in his brain and instead focused his gaze downward to George’s hands. They were long and thin, surprisingly soft looking and looked perfect to hold in his hand. Some girl had taken away the opportunity to hold George’s hand. It made Dream hot with rage and jealousy, how some girl that he never heard George talk about was the one that George would focus his attention on. It accentuated the heterosexuality of George, reminding Dream that _he_ was the reason why George didn’t like guys.

“What’s wro’g with me? Why can’t you j’st tell me the tr’th? I fucked everything up...didn’t I? It was me. I’m the pr’blem.” Dream sobbed, feeling even worse at the silence George exuded, no attempts to comfort him. “If I never exist’d...would you still like guys? I’m sorry for exist’ng.”

“No…” George whispered. “Don’t say that, please. I’m at fault Dream, I’m so sorry. I should’ve seen the signs sooner, should've done something about it so you wouldn’t be pining after m-”

“Why did you still keep me as a fren’d? It was the worst decision you coulda ev’r made. Every day was fill’d with false hope, with ‘Maybe this never happen’d...maybe I can try again?’ I want’d to die everytime I felt like confessin’ to you again. I never had a chance, you should’ve j’st left.” 

“I do love you Dream.” Dream’s head snapped upwards to meet George’s gaze, a fire starting back in his heart at those couple of words. It felt like heaven to hear the word “love” coming out of George’s mouth for the very first time; but angels could fall into the depths of hell, turning their back on the light. “Very much, as a _friend._ That’s why I need to resolve this wit-” 

George wasn’t ready to be thrown to the ground, to have Dream pin him down, hovering over him. It wasn’t intimate at all, it was out of aggression. Dream had his hands dangerously close to wrapping around George’s neck, his hands trembling with fervor. Dream’s face was red from the alcohol, but his eyes might as well be icy blue from how cold and stony they were. 

“As a _friend?_ Are you kiddin’ me George?” Dream spat. “YOU’RE ALWAYS LIKE THIS! ST’P LEADING ME ON! I _HATE_ YOU. I really r’lly fuckin’ hate you with every fiber of my bein’. Get the _fuck out of my life_.” George let out a gasp when Dream drew his arm back, ready to punch and closed his eyes tightly and embraced himself for the impact. 

It never came though, instead a weight was lifted off of his abdomen as Dream got off of him, resorting to laying in the fetal position on the floor whilst weeping. George scrambled to his feet and kneeled down next to Dream, reaching out to him tentatively but his hand was smacked away by Dream.

“J’st get out,” Dream cried. “Please.” George had a saddened look on his face as he stood up, eyeing Dream, who was still curled up on the cold bathroom tiles and shaking.

“I’m sorry,” George murmured, followed by the sound of footsteps receding into the distance as he left Dream to shiver and quake on the floor. Dream began to cry even more, knowing that this moment was probably the last time he would ever interact with George, their relationship too much of a mess to salvage even with the help of their friends. 

Dream’s skin felt clammy from sweat, tears, and spilled alcohol; his hair was slick against his forehead. His hand shot out to grab onto the side of the toilet bowl and pull himself up when he could taste bile starting to rise up in his throat. He barely made it in time before he was puking his guts out, his stomach heaving and he was gasping for air. Dream spat the bitter fluids in his mouth into the toilet, watching it mix in with the splotches of scarlet blood painting the sides of the bowl, a striking contrast against the white surface. 

_I’m dying._ Dream thought as he spit more of the red blood in with the others, hacking it up from his raw and scratchy throat. His throat felt like he had swallowed barbed razor wires, ripping it to shreds from the combination of drinking and shouting. _I’m dying. I’m dying. I’m dying._ The taste was terrible and Dream reached behind the toilet to grab the bottle of Jack he had left there, bringing the bottle up to his lips to chase down the taste and also make his whole world more numb. His skin was already burning up, every touch against every surface left painful stings to etch into his skin and flesh. Everything was too much and Dream just wanted it all to stop.

“WHOA WHOA WHOA WHOA.” Dream groaned when the bottle was snatched out of his hand by some mysterious blurry figure he couldn’t quite make out because he couldn’t seem to concentrate his gaze onto it for more than a couple of seconds, his eyes darting around rapidly. “Dream buddy, holy shit. You’re drunk as hell and OH MY GOD IS THAT BLOOD.”

“Mhm,” Dream moaned as he sat back down fully onto the floor, no longer leaning over the toilet. His body swayed and the lack of balance caused him to fall backwards; a pair of arms saving him from splitting his skull wide open onto the bathroom tiles.

“Oh...my...goodness.”

“Bad!” Dream winced at the loud voice of the person holding him in their arms. “Call an ambulance! He’s puking up blood!” Dream was drifting in and out of consciousness at that point, all the alcohol finally being absorbed into his bloodstream and coursing through his body. 

“Dream—hear me? Hang—You got this—George?—girl?—his girlfriend—Everything—okay, you got it? Stay with—Please.” The broken words were the last thing Dream heard before he slipped into darkness.

* * *

Sapnap was in shock as he watched his best friend be lifted onto a stretcher and hauled into the back of the ambulance. He had volunteered to ride in the vehicle to accompany Dream to the hospital. The paramedics told Sapnap that they got many cases like this all the time, that the patient had drank too much, was incoherent and coughing up blood from their severely irritated throat, which was most likely the aftermath of drinking almost 3/4 of the 750mL bottle of Jack Daniels. 

Sapnap partially blamed himself for Dream’s suffering, cursing at himself for not keeping watch over his best friend; he had let his guard down, convinced that George had ditched the party after all. But he was wrong, and Dream had to pay the price. 

He would be lying if he said he wasn’t enraged in the slightest; seeing George in a fast pace walking from the bathroom and arriving at the scene with Dream in the middle a panic attack and genuinely looking like he was dying. Sapnap had almost just left Dream in the bathroom all alone in exchange of socking George in the face, finally fed up with all his bullshit and this incident being the last straw to their friendship. 

Dream was mumbling strings of jumbled phrases as if they were incantations under his breath and it took Sapnap a while to fully understand what he was saying. His heart broke when he heard Dream cry his eyes out at the fact that he drove George away, that he had ruined everything and just wanted things to go back to the way they were, even if it meant never loving George in the first place. Dream kept on repeating a duality of phrases, saying that he still loved George but at other times saying that he hated him. 

Dream was broken, just the empty shell of the loving man he used to be, the one who would gush about his crush on a certain British boy that had managed to capture his heart. The Dream who gave his whole heart and life to George before it was ripped to shreds. The Dream who was happy just to spend time with his _friend_ George. 

The Dream who lived in an alternate reality in which awakenings were nonexistent.

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry I made it a little bit too angsty anon...I uh...I have problems.


End file.
